Lonesome
My wife died Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 9:30 P.M.
I miss her.
She had a brain tumor Glioblastoma.
That's as awful as it seems.
She had been diagnosed on January 11, 2013.
It didn't take long.
She had been a nurse.
There wasn't any way to child her.
She knew the score.
What will we do Mary?
"I do not need to perish."
"Honey, you Aren't going to expire,
Let us perform the Chemo. . the Radiation. .
Perhaps a miracle. ."
"OK".
No such fate.
The Chemo, the radiation daily for two weeks.
.She gets poorer and poorer. .
Eventually, Pneumonia, blindness, coma.
I sit at the hospital.
Hours at One Time.
I eat there.
Occasionally her hospital meals.
She doesn't eat.
I doze and waken.
Nothing fresh.
The hospital folks are so fantastic to us.
Patient and kind and empathetic.
The physician looks in my
With bare eyes.
I beg, I read
I hold her hand and tell her I love her.
I believe of this mournful tune,
"Perhaps I ought to have held you
During the lonely, lonely nights.
Perhaps I should have advised you
I am so happy that you are mine.
The small things I might have done and said
but never took the time..
But you're always on my head
You're always in my head."
Oh!
How I want
For only a bit more time.
Now includes the Morphine.
The oxygen and breathing.
Farewell.
I miss her.
"She is in a much better place".
I inform myself.
However, I miss her.
I pray for religion.
I'm occupied with all the following details.
The cremation
The words of loved ones
Attempting to ease me
Selecting the Urn, the blossoms,
That the internment.
The vacant impression departing her
In the cemetery.
Life moves on
However, dear God
I miss her.
The passing of a loved one is, sadly something most of us have to experience.
In my job as a therapist, I advise people the mourning doesn't end in the funeral. No more than the usual race finishes at the end line. However, I have begun to understand that it's Oh so private!
Why do bad things happen to good men and women? I've pondered this puzzle many times.
St. Paul says.
"Life is like a tapestry.
While we're alive, we all see is the trunk, which is only a perplexing accumulation of knots and thread. . If our life is finished, the tapestry we see that the real image." Then we come to understand why."
There's a reason for many things. We have to understand the pain of loss; as if we never understood it, we'd not have any empathy for others. We'd become critters of self esteem and self interest. The pain of loss teaches humility and has the capability to soften our hearts, to create a better individual of a great one."
However, Dear God. . Oh!