If I ever run for political office, I'll pass a law that requires spring cleaning to be postponed until winter. Why waste days of blooming flowers, invigorating air and sweater-wearing temperatures inside the house - especially inside a dirty house. After being elected by a landslide, I'll spend my spring cleaning up politics.

Each year I know it's time to do the seasonal scrubbing and shining when there's no room left under my sons' beds for them to shove stuff.

I'm going to put an ad in the LA Times LOST & FOUND column to find out where 2006 went. I don't know. I don't know when years started to have only eight months.It must have been when hours started to have only forty minutes. What I do know is that all of us will have something in common in 2007, no matter how fast the year passes. We will all be a year older.

Today's not just a gray day. It's the third one in a row and it's a Monday. It doesn't get much grayer than that. The worst thing about getting out of bed this morning was having to make the bed. Then I had to brush my teeth, That sounds easy, but it was a daunting challenge. I had to remove both my toothbush and toothpaste from the vanity drawer, unscrew the cap from the toothpaste, apply a dab of paste to my brush, re-cap the toothpaste, turn on the water, wet my brush - all before I could brush my teeth.

According to Webster's Dictionary, cooking is preparing food by boiling, baking, frying, etc. My family thinks etc. best describes mine. Okay, but I've come along way from using raw potatoes in curried potato salad to recreating dishes from "Gourmet Magazine". Because I was kitchen-challenged before I was married, my mother-in-law immediately sent me "Fanny Farmr's Cookbook".

A name is the first gift you give your child. You want it to be special - to be as unique as your newborn. Gwyneth Paltrow chose Apple for her daughter. Demi Moore picked Scout for hers. Forest Whitaker selected True. These are definitely unique, but are they too unique?

How could someone "titled" Knight say any name was too unique. Knight was my mother's maiden name; and I'm sure Gwyneth, Demi and Forest had reasons just as meaningful for their choices.

Because I had a business meeting today, I gave extra thought to what I wore - something conservative, but not dull - something stylish, but not extreme. After choosing a two-piece outfit with a mid-length, slightly ruffled skirt, I looked in the mirror.

"Okay", I said to the doubting voice in my head, "I'm not the "i" in fashion; but there's no "u" in fashion at all".

If you come across a word you don't know, look it up. My grandmother made that rule to improve her grandchildren's vocabularies and I can still hear her reminding me. Well, looking on the luminous side, if my dictionary is out of reach - or even better - in another room, I can increase my wordage and my exercise at the same time.

Because of the trips to my Webster's - okay, Grandmother - because of the sojourns, I've learned words that are fun to use just because of the way they sound.

What's so convenient about kitchen conveniences? I don't have an electric coffee pot, an electric espresso maker, an electric can opener, an electric hot pot or an electric sealer. No, I'm not against progress. I'm against making extra work for myself. The more modern the kitchen convenience, the more parts it has. The more parts it has, the more parts it has for me to clean.

Would I like to be a man for a day? Sure. I'd like to walk a mile in my husband's Nikes. It would help me understand the male species. However...if I got lost while walking the mile, I'd ask directions.

Men are physically stronger, faster and have less body fat; but what I envy most is their clothes. I would love to be able to wear a different shirt and have the result be considered a different outfit.

Take your elbows off the table, don't talk with food in your mouth, don't run in the house - I thought diamond sorters were less picky than my mother. Then I had children and I understood - almost. I still think sending me to a summer camp that taught manners was a bit extreme.

Telling my sons to masticate with their mouths closed got their attention because it sounded risque, but it took longer to teach them to take what was nearest when food was passed.