Do not enter into power struggles with your children. Nobody wins in a power struggle. It's just not worth it. Most power struggles happen as our children come into their teenage years however younger children can be very good at this too.

Recently we were at home one Friday night when some of my son's friends came knocking at our door. They wanted Kieren (age 13) to come outside with them and play Spotlight with them at the park.

Children will repeat a behaviour if it gives them something that they want. A few years ago I tried to bribe my nine year old son to stop biting his nails. I told him that if he stopped biting his nails for a month I would buy him an expensive toy. He immediately
stopped biting his nails for a whole month. I couldn't believe it because this had been an ongoing battle for many years.

I am an expert on this subject as I have one of these precious darlings in my family at present. So, I feel for you parents. But there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel - I can assure you.

The fact is that strong willed children need a different approach than the average child. Every child is individual and it is important to cater for these unique differences in some small way.

If I could give advice to single mums regarding raising their kids I would say this:

Give your kids good boundaries. Let your kids know exactly what you expect of them. Sit down and talk to them about these boundaries. Help the kids understand that the household rules are for their benefit.

When kids understand the reason behind rules they are much more likely to abide by them.

It can be a battle to get kids to do chores at the best of times. I have a daily list of chores for my kids to do. The technique that I use is letting my kids choose from a list what they would like to do to contribute. I never use the word jobs, or chores. I always say responsibilities. This gives them the impression that it is a requirement, not just an optional extra.